> Now I do believe that if society made it acceptable to just outright ask, with no hard feelings either way "hey, want to go out?" that everything would be better.
This, exactly this. The problem is that the asker has to be able to take no as an answer, and deal with it. Which means not asking multiple times in rapid succession, or even asking often. And everyone involved (including friends) needs to make sure they don't shame the people involved in the exchange.
A lot of gendered problems enter this equation (at least for heterosexuals, I'm sure many other complicated societal problems (some of them related) exist for homosexuals). For example a problem for men is they have a lot of pressure to not be wrong and hence only ask women out when it's a sure, or very likely, thing. For example a problem for women is rape (i.e. rape culture, slut shaming, etc.), so they tend to hang out with their friends for protection, which makes it hard for (generally female) people to have (or talk about) a relationship without a lot of people knowing about it (you know, to back up that they aren't a slut, in case they get raped (I realize people here are pretty liberal, and that sounds horrid, but it's why some women often stick together and 'gossip')). Oh, by the way, one of those things is not like the other, one is a massive societal problem, one is merely a societal pressure, but both, among many others, need to be dealt with.
This, exactly this. The problem is that the asker has to be able to take no as an answer, and deal with it. Which means not asking multiple times in rapid succession, or even asking often. And everyone involved (including friends) needs to make sure they don't shame the people involved in the exchange.
A lot of gendered problems enter this equation (at least for heterosexuals, I'm sure many other complicated societal problems (some of them related) exist for homosexuals). For example a problem for men is they have a lot of pressure to not be wrong and hence only ask women out when it's a sure, or very likely, thing. For example a problem for women is rape (i.e. rape culture, slut shaming, etc.), so they tend to hang out with their friends for protection, which makes it hard for (generally female) people to have (or talk about) a relationship without a lot of people knowing about it (you know, to back up that they aren't a slut, in case they get raped (I realize people here are pretty liberal, and that sounds horrid, but it's why some women often stick together and 'gossip')). Oh, by the way, one of those things is not like the other, one is a massive societal problem, one is merely a societal pressure, but both, among many others, need to be dealt with.