A grep of your git log indicates at least 7 developers with >100 commits in recent history. I'd hope there's a decent chance at least one of them is better at crisis management and general PR. Certainly collectively you could have done better than the rushed (and at times nearly incomprehensible) statements you've been making.
It's sad that your reaction to reasoned advice is to lash out with snark rather than simply to appreciate that you've been given a playbook for dealing with both current and future issues of this kind. The first play, by the way, being "stop lashing out".
