On this theme, I've found having kids has actually helped me be more productive. I don't have the opportunity to work crazy hours. I know I can't catch up in the evening so I have to make every day count. Because my hours are limited to a standard working day I never burn-out, and I'm motivated and ready to go each and every day.
When they were really young it was rough (no sleep, etc.) but now they're a bit older it generally works out well. (Modulo illness. They are both currently coming down with something and it's going to wipe out at least two working days.)
You can artificially create this limitation without having a child.
If you make arrangements at 7pm (e.g. dinner or sports), it forces you to finish everything during the work day so you can go out at night. This deadline can create an artificial sense of urgency to be more productive at work.
You can, and I agree with your sentiment, but I don't think that's what the parent (haha) commenter is arguing.
I'd agree with you even more if the examples better reflect the level of responsibility that parenthood imparts upon you. Being "forced" to go to a dinner vs being "forced" to be home to relieve the nanny are two very different forces. You're more likely to forgive yourself for missing dinner than leaving the kids home alone.
I think that would just turns me into the guy who is always late for events and I hate to be that guy.
Doesn't the 7pm artificial urgency cause you stress?
For me I think it's just a recognition that creative work no matter the discipline artistic, scientific, design, software, whatever is just not simply a 9-5 job. But I'm also just as sure that nothing works for everyone the same way.
I find this too. Just recently had a kid, and when I get home I want to spend time with him/wife, so I know I wont get to work at home/won't want to. It allows me to go hard for 8-9 hours, get home and not spend a day. It also lets me rethink priorities and move my schedule. Its a great thing, really is. Makes you think of ways to be more productive too!
This times ten. Not only does having a kid force you to prioritize your time and truly be productive, but it often changes what you consider truly important and worth spending your precious time on.
As a college athlete turned i-banker right out of school, you are spot on. I never had so many productive days in college when I had little / no time to do work vs. never had so many unproductive days in finance working 100+ hour weeks. I love Jason Fried's quote on this topic: "Workaholics aren’t heroes. They don’t save the day, they just use it up. The real hero is already home because she figured out a faster way to get things done."
Agree 100%. Having children changes your perspective and priorities, and you learn to make every second outside of raising your kids count. Parenthood has also taught me how to let go and say no to doing things which has, in turn, compelled me to work balanced days and to grow up.
God, I hope this is true! Wife and I just had our first kid a month ago, and I can tell ya it's hard to find (or justify) time for side projects with that little bugger* wreaking havoc on my shut-eye! :)
Don't worry, your baby's sleep cycle will stabilize soon, even before he or she is sleeping through the night. Pro-tip: go to bed when your baby does. Mine (5 months) tends to sleep from 10 to 6, waking up around 2 to feed. If I followed my pre-baby sleep schedule (1 to 8), I'd get up after just an hour of sleep to feed her, then get another 3 hours until she woke up again. Bad news bears. But if I go to sleep when she does, and wake up when she does, I'm pretty well-rested even with the feeding in the middle. Also: you can use feedings to get a bit of work done (I save stuff I can do in 45 min to 1 hr for night). Just learn to feed the baby while typing.
sleeping through the night? Please say yes. 3 months is my "If I can just... make it..." mark. Apparently that's when you can start letting them cry it out?
Nope, still gets up about twice in the night to eat. Totally normal though.
Got some good advice recently to not change him in the middle of the night. Less stimulation so he goes back to sleep faster which means you get more sleep too. Felt weird about it at first but it's totally fine. That morning diaper will be a heavy one though!
We don't just let him cry yet, but we're also lucky because the kid doesn't cry unless he needs something so YMMV...
That's really interesting to hear. I would guess that it also potentially helps click the switch from "work, then life" to "life (e.g. kids), then work". I can't imagine any amount of work being as fulfilling as watching your family grow.
This. Just had our first kid and it has changed my life for the better. I have no choice but to have a planned/organized routine which actually has made me more productive. Heck I even have the time to start swimming !!
After having kids, I have become more productive simply because you have to be. It seems like I "wasted" the time before having kids. For example, even with - at the time - a three-year-old and 20-month-old twins, I managed to start a very small, niche web-based business all at night after the family went to bed. (It took me about two months to start this side-business.)
This seems to involved something conceptually similar the part of unscheduling (http://www.lifeclever.com/how-to-unschedule-your-work-and-en...) that has one fill in the calendar with all the non-work things one is going to do. Thus one sees how little time is actually available to get something done, and so not wasting it gets easier.
Part of it is that I wind up with the bulk of the parenting because my wife's life is more demanding than mine. Part of it is that I am no longer able to avoid commutes with the strategy of picking odd hours.
But the sum is that everything is much harder for me now than it used to be. However I love my kids and would not trade them in for the world.
your comment about commutes times resonates w/ me. while i agree w/ the OP, once my oldest hit kindergarten things got a lot tougher.
back when i was working at startups, i found it easy feed/bathe/read to/tuck in my kids every, still did dishes/laundry/etc, and relax for an hour or two w/ my wife each night. i usually coded til around 4/5am each night, and slept til 9.30-10am. i got solid uninterrupted sleep and woke up w/o an alarm clock, it felt great. by the time i went to work (around 10.30), traffic was gone, and my commute was 15m tops. on days i worked at home, i'd wake up, have a coffee, soak up a little sun, and start coding w/in 20-30min of waking. i had two hyper productive sprints each day, first being an hour or so after i woke up, and the second being around 1am after everyone else was asleep. if i got fewer than 5hrs sleep the night before, i'd take ~20-30min nap after putting the kids to sleep. everything rocked.
then my kids started school. although i was working more normal hours at an enterprisey dev job again, but now had to be up at 7-7.30 to get them ready, and walk kid[a] or drive kid[b] to school. on mornings i drive, i spend ~55-65min in the car and wouldn't get to work until i'd already been up 2-3hrs. my window of morning productivity is killed. moreover, since i'm up 2-3hrs earlier, i'm tired earlier and usually just say f-it to working at night. i'm in bed for a longer length of time each day, but feel far less rested. i spend at least an extra hour each day in the car. while i don't need to work as many hours as i did in my startup life, i find myself behind more often b/c i struggle to find productive blocks each day. it's also worlds harder to find time to do things like dishes/laundry/cleaning, whereas i always could squirrel 5-10min here and there when i didn't have to worry about getting my kids somewhere on time. damn you elementary school, damn you.
my 2 cents. either way, kids rock. hardest times are the best times.
When they were really young it was rough (no sleep, etc.) but now they're a bit older it generally works out well. (Modulo illness. They are both currently coming down with something and it's going to wipe out at least two working days.)