> War literally means "we are willing to kill and die to win this"
I think you are overly equating the aggressor with the victim. The victim is more "we are willing to kill and die to avoid having <something> forced on us".
Sure, "winning" is just short-hand for "avoid having..." you're using. The point is, either way - if you're willing to fight and die for it, you're going to be willing to lie for it. So as someone far away, I have to assume that everything I am seeing is someone's preferred spin on it, and that I have no way to decide what's what.
Before the full scale invasion started, Ukraine was repeatedly saying "hey I think Russia's going wage war with us really soon, can you keep an eye on this?" The US and others agreed. Russia said "we're absolutely not going to start a war, and the people saying we're going to war are lying." Then Russia started a war.
While there are degrees of uncertainty, we must not, in turn, ignore facts.
I think you are overly equating the aggressor with the victim. The victim is more "we are willing to kill and die to avoid having <something> forced on us".