I feel you 100%. I don't come off as gay (nothing wrong with that if you do, but as I generally say... I knew I was a nerd far earlier than I knew I was gay). I don't wear rainbow anything.
So unless we are talking about my partner, you may not know. There have been times I have been working closely with someone for a year plus and they were shocked to find out.
I say that because, yeah being called "homophobic" for the way I speak... is one of my biggest pet peeves. Like I get it, your heart is in the right place. But this policing of language is the easy stuff, it is a feel good "I did something for someone else" that really doesn't move the needle at all.
It is the same thing when white people get upset about a person of color using the N word. Or any other words that have been demonized in the past but as a community many of us are actively trying to take back those words.
Frankly I hope that there is a point that the "F" word is no longer considered derogatory because we took it back. We took the power away from those that wish to use it as a homophobic slur. We turned into something else entirely. But we can't do that when there are tools like this that will forever continue to give those that wish to use the words in a negative way power over language.
So unless we are talking about my partner, you may not know. There have been times I have been working closely with someone for a year plus and they were shocked to find out.
I say that because, yeah being called "homophobic" for the way I speak... is one of my biggest pet peeves. Like I get it, your heart is in the right place. But this policing of language is the easy stuff, it is a feel good "I did something for someone else" that really doesn't move the needle at all.
It is the same thing when white people get upset about a person of color using the N word. Or any other words that have been demonized in the past but as a community many of us are actively trying to take back those words.
Frankly I hope that there is a point that the "F" word is no longer considered derogatory because we took it back. We took the power away from those that wish to use it as a homophobic slur. We turned into something else entirely. But we can't do that when there are tools like this that will forever continue to give those that wish to use the words in a negative way power over language.